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Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Oh my vanity!
Im in love with Leonardo Da Vinci. He has ruined me for men all over . No one can now live up to my expectations. I want a brillant man. I will settle for nothing less. A brillant artist at that. Someone who can travel and be a constant teacher to me...and show me the secrets hiding right under my nose. Im so inspired at this very moment. I am completely content with myself. I just want to read and paint and explore the world on my own.
Wow...I don't know what has come over me...Da Vinci, Bright Eyes, 6 cups of coffee, and cough medicine. Wow wow wow! Let me just start by telling you how great the stars look tonight. I laid in bed for 2-3 hours and talked to Brent about...everything...but the whole time, I had my eye on this one star. I don't know why that star was so much different. Maybe because it was a little bigger than the others surrounding it...I don't know...but I watched it for around 3 hours and when I hung up the phone...it fell. Now...you may not believe this...but it did. I'm not going crazy and it's not the cough medicine. The star fell after I stared at it for 3 hours. That's great. That's...amazing...that I got to watch something so beautiful. I don't know how something so small could capture me so easily for 3 hours...and captivate me in such a way that I am still talking about it at 2:45AM.
I wish other people would be so patient to talk to me on the phone for 3 hours. It's amazing how much I have to say. Even if I don't have anything to say, to hear Russ tell it I make the cutest noises when I roll over or attempt to situate myself in bed. Talking on the phone is great and I love it. You should love it too.
I want to go to an art museum. I want to go...and spend all day analyzing it and over-analyzing it. A piece of art can mean so much if you just consider it from ever point of view and emotion. People take art of all forms for granted. Even the ugliest piece of art in the world is beautiful in the eyes of the artist and how someone could overlook that...is just beyond me.
I want to go to a museum and spend as much time as I like looking at beauty through the eyes of another. I want to think about how the artist felt when he/she was painting or what kind of emotion the artist was trying to put on canvas, because putting all of your emotions onto a canvas for another person to analyze, decipher, and criticise is a brave and difficult thing to do.
I can only wonder what it's like to convey such beauty, perfection, emotion, and commitment into art. I have so much respect for every artist, simply because I know I could never have the patience to do it myself. I can only stand back and admire those who do have the patience, the dedication, and the drive.
Oh my love...what am I to do with all of these desires? Even if someone came along and fulfilled each and every one of them, I would be spoiled and I would never want the time to pass. Time would become my worst enemy. I need no more enemies. Only lovers.
"He said that I was romantic, but then the gun went off.
And now I've left you to bleed here all alone.
And I look so beautiful." - Eighteen Visions "Vanity"
Posted at 01:20 am by silenced
Sunday, January 18, 2004
Sunday!
Today was good. I woke up, got dressed, and went to church. I think my mom wanted to kill me for wearing "my nasty chuck taylors" to church, but I think she just likes nagging at me. Anyway, we went to church and that was fun. Ben was there for the first time in 249727 years. He's such a sweetie. He liked me hair. Yay.
After church, I went to my grandmother's house and ate deeeelicious Sunday dinner like I always do. It was exceptionally good today, though. I love that woman. My cousins came by to eat, as well, and so I got to hang out with them for a while before I had to go.
Driver's Ed. is in the morning. Please please keep me in mind. I really do NOT want to drive and I sure don't want to think about it or take tests on it...but I need to learn how so that I can be dependent upon myself.
I showed John Stepp my Bright Eyes story and I think he really enjoyed it. That made me happy...so I wrote a lot last night before I fell asleep. I got a phone call at 3:15AM and whoever it was hung up. I don't know why I can't remember to turn off my cell phone when I go to sleep, but I always do and it scares me so bad when it rings so effin loud.
Anyway, in just a few minutes...Rachel and I are going to go back to her house and watch Double Jeopardy on the only 4 channels that she has in her room. I will update again ASAP.
I love you guys.
- Kelsey. Posted at 05:16 pm by silenced
Friday, January 16, 2004
Wee!
Well, my day started off really effin' bad....but never fail, my amazing friends saved me. After all the drama with Benji went down, I was bored...and just sitting around. I missed As I Lay Dying...and I had NOTHING to do. That's where Johnathan Lynch came in! He rode in on his white horse( AKA his truck) and swept me away to my bedroom to watch half of Vanilla Sky. That boy sure is great and boy does he love some Penelope Cruz. We didn't get to finish the movie, though...so it looks like he has to come back over and sit through the other half with me SOMETIME SOON!
Johnathan left around 9:15 or so and...I laid in bed and called random people. I'm sure I bugged them pretty bad...but then I get a call from John and Andrew. They tell me that they are in the worst part of Monroe and that they had ran into all kinds of trouble on the way to and through there....but I will let them tell that wonderful story. Anyway...where was I going with all that? OH OH...they said that they would be more than happy to come and see me and...you know I love me some John and Andrew so I gladly agreed to see them. Even though...I was in my pajamas with my glasses on and all that jazz. They have now seen me at my best and seen me at my WORST.
So they came over and met my puppet named Piltridge. I think they liked Piltridge a little TOO much. It's okay though. Piltridge nevers gets the love like Chlosey does. Speaking of Chlosey, John finally pet him tonight. I could see the love in his eyes. We watched some Norma Jean...and I hang my head in defeat. Yeah, I'll admit it before Andrew has the chance to. Andrew out-Norma Jean'd me! Yeah...he did...but it was a BAD NIGHT.
Anyway, the guys stayed until like...2:30. We just talked and hung out and had a GREAT TIME. I love my friends with all of my heart and tommorow...Jennifer says that we are hanging out and takings LOTS of pictures. So...this is great and I am looking forward to seeing her because Jennifer is the bestest and if you disagree, I'll kick you in your FAYCE!
So...on a final note: I love Johnathan Lynch, Andrew Polk, John Stepp, and Jennifer Smith with ALL of my heart, forever and ever because they care enough to comfort me and spend time with me when I am bored or just plain upset. One day...I will repay you guys SO BIG.
Tommorow will be great. I know it.
- Kelsey
Posted at 01:07 am by silenced
Thursday, January 15, 2004
Back home!
I decided to come back home to my lovely Blogdrive journal. It's so much prettier than my Xanga. Not much has been happening lately. Michael and I hung out last night. We went to ElChicos, a movie, and then to church. It was really great. Michael is...a really cool guy. I know...this is some new guy and you guys are thinking "What?!?!" but...I'll tell you guys more later.
Benji is an ass. I can say that here because he doesn't know about this journal. He's the biggest asshole ever, I think...but...he's so hot. I just read his Xanga and it says that we are going to hang out Friday...but...I don't wanna. I'm scared if I start hanging out with him and Katie that his ex-wife might get mad and think I am trying to be her mother and like...have me killed or something. I'm effin' 15 and I am NOT going there. Sorry...just no. I want them all to just...go away.
I got a comment from the bass player of The Social Dropouts' girlfriend. That was cool, for sure. They have an awesome bassist. Did anyone else see how easily he played that Rancid song while the other guy was fixing his string? Dannng.
Why the hell did everyone start getting Xangas? That bugs the hell outta me. Useless Xangas are everywhere now. Screw it. I will just go to Red's , Andrew's, John's, Ryan's and Josh's.
I changed Chlosey's bedding and all yesterday and he went temporarily crazy. I don't think he liked the clean, non-pissed all over bedding at all! So he started running back and forth and one time he even ran into the glass. So...to calm him down, I gave him a yogie and a grape because he likes fresh fruit and it said they can eat them so...yay. He calmed down, but I think he missed Jennifer.
If Chlosey ever died...it would be like MeWithoutYou losing Gizmo. That story made me cry soooo much when I first read it (Back when I was such a hardcore MWY fan) and it just makes me all teary when I read it now. Anyway... I would cry lots and lots if Chlosey died because I am insanely attached to Chlosey now.
But yeah...enough of all that. I must go. My mom and I are going to Subway, to lay in the tanning bed, to take back Uptown Girls, and then to the mall to get me some of that deeeelicious Chinese food. Yum yum. <333
- Kelsey
Posted at 08:53 am by silenced
Monday, January 12, 2004
Haven't updated in a while...
Okay...so Saturday was great. I spent the day with the greatest people everrr: Andrew, Red, and Chloe. We went to the skate park to see The Social Dropouts, The Upstairs Divine, Lucky So Far, Dorris, and IOU. It was a great night, despite being cold as hell. Although, I have an ear ache now from that. So..yeah that sucks. The lead singer of The Social Dropouts was great and so was their bassist. You should check them out: The Social Dropouts
Red punched me several times while we were all twisting to IOU and then she would stop to LAUGH at the fact that she punched me...and then she would start twisting again. How MEAN is that? Hmmm? Yeah, but we LOVE Red and we should ALL tell her in her journal at this link right here!
Dorris rocked so hard, as usual...but I only caught their last two songs because we were eating at Taco Bell, where we saw Chad, George, and Jarred from This Blessed Mourning I'm a hungry girl. But yeah...Dorris was great and you should check them at too! Dorris
The Upstairs Divine was grrreat. I really really love them and they are great guys...for the most part. *wink* Jennifer, Chloe, and I couldn't twist very well, for we were VERY cold...but NEXT TIME...fear the twist! Anyway though...you should check out The Upstairs Divine TOO.
Benji was married. Benji was divorced. Benji has a 9 month old little girl. BENJI IS SO GORGEOUS. Why can't I find a guy who is NOT 13, gay, married, divorced, old, or like...just a big loser? Jesus.
So, Andy (Smith) stopped by last night and offered to let me come along with him to Shreveport in a couple of weeks to see a show, but...ugh. That would be way too much trouble to avoid for such an awkward 1 there and back. I mean...what would we say and do? Ugh.
I watched Underworld last night...and it sucked. That was one bad vampire movie and in the beginning I couldn't tell who was shooting at whom. It just...confused me. Then again...I kept falling asleep. So maybe I missed some vital parts of the movie that made it SEEM stupid. Who knows!
I have a horrible earache. It's so bad. Yuck.
Oh! Earlier tonight, I went with Andrew to karate lessons. It was so great! They learned how to stab someone correctly AND how to keep from getting shot if you are held at gunpoint. It was so cool and Chlosey got to come along for the ride too! These old ladies kept stopping to touch him and make silly comments about him. The karate class was cool, but I would feel silly doing all of that.
Anyway, it was a great night and a great weekend too. I really really enjoyed myself and all. I have the best friends and I love them with all of my heart. <3333
- Kelsey
Posted at 07:14 pm by silenced
Thursday, January 08, 2004
Fun stuff.
I AM: Sleepy and moody.
I WANT: Cherry cola and...Conor Oberst.
I HAVE: A headache.
I WISH: that i were somewhere else.
I HATE: when stupid people talk to me.
I FEAR: spiders, paper cuts, and darkness.
I HEAR: "Lover I Don't Have to Love" by Bright Eyes. <3
I SEARCH: For...happiness. I think...
I WONDER: If poor Chlosey is cold and alone in that stupid pet store.
I REGRET: being blind to everything around me.
I LOVE: My friends... and people who DON'T lie to me.
I ACHE: In the head.
I ALWAYS: Listen to Norma Jean in the morning.
I AM NOT: Warm.
I DANCE: to Norma Jean while I am blowdrying my hair. <33
I SING: Bright Eyes, Norma Jean, and Jason Mraz.
I CRY: A lot these days. so effin' what.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: Cheerful and giggly.
I WRITE: Stories! Thanks to Bright Eyes. <3
I WIN: Always. ha.
I LOSE: Never!
I CONFUSE: Myself. dammit.
I NEED: to get out of the house
I SHOULD: get out of the house and do something.
I THINK: I should get out of the house.
Well, that was fun.
Anyway, yeah...as stated above...I need to get out of the house. I love you.
- Kelsey
Posted at 09:09 am by silenced
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
Toooo early.
Lord have mercy it is so early. Those comments made me smile. I love that soooo much. Haha. Kisses to you sexy bitches. xoxox!
I love my new layout and you guys do too. I can tell. It's just....so sexy and all that jazz.
So I didn't get home until laaaate last night...errr this morning. Something like that. I got interrogated by the one and only John Stepp as to why I was out so late and who with. Hehe. Benji + coffee + Monroe + sneaking in at 2AM = the best night everrrrr.
You know who totally rocks my world? Statues Cry Bleeding does. That Steven is a sexy bitch. Check them out. Yum! <----CLICK!
Anyway, I am super tired. I think this cup of coffee and "Shotgun Message" by Norma Jean is the only thing keeping me awake right now. I talked to Russ tonight until my cell phone died. Stupid thing. I love me some Russ. Even though he can be an asshole. I like assholes...right, Trey?
It's funny when I visit my journal and see my super sexy fashioncore picture of me on my cell phone. Oh man...I wish I were cool. Speaking of...text messages are FUN. Send me one. 372-0672. Make me smile at random times during the day. It's worth it!
Man, french fries are SO good...but did you know that we are paying out of the ass for them? It only costs 8 cents to make them, but we are paying like $1.50 for them. Oh man...I'm such a nerd...talking about french fries on my journal.
Anyway, I have to take my computer back to the doctor. I have that stupid ass trojan virus. I think it's from downloading those Twelve Gauge videos. Damn those hardcore kids! <3333
After I take the computer to that place...I will go shopping for a while, maybe get some Yummy Japan! Haha. Okay...no really, I won't...but I can't get over how funny that is. Jennifer...Andrew... <333
Okay! I am done now...I'M LEAVING.
- Kelsey
Posted at 05:18 am by silenced
Sunday, January 04, 2004
Wee!
Today was good. I went with Andrew and Red to Monroe. We went to the mall and bought me a new sweater and the Punk Goes Acoustic CD. Then...we went to Pet Co to buy the hairless guinea pig that Red and I have had our eye on, but...it was effin' 80 dollars and we so could not buy the thing. I mean..we could...but no. He was sooo cute, though. Anyone want to contribute to the Save Chlosey fund? I'll give you a kiiiiisss!
Anyway, after Pet Co...we went to eat at HOOTERS. That was a fun time. Our waitress sucked, though...and some drunk people were playing quarters near our table. That was very interesting. Jennifer is going to kill me. In fact...I think she is faking the fact that SHE LOVES ME to buy herself time to plot my demise. It's okay, though...because she paid for me to eat at Hooters tonight. <333
Anyway, I came home and laid down for a few minutes and then sat my bottom down right here and talked to Jon and Dave...and Andrew...and...who else? Oh! Stephen and Seth. Yep, I talked to lots of sexy people tonight.
Seth introduced me to a really great band tonight. I like them lots. Seth's a super great guy. When Ashlyn dies...I will steal him away.
Umm..let's see...I found out that Ben Jones is effin' THIRTEEN! Man do I feel stupid! I dated an effin' 13 year old. My little cousin is 12. Ew. That's like dating my little cousin. Jeeez. Blah. Being lied to is the worst. Boooo to Ben Jones!
Benji, you are a nerd! But the good kind that I put in my mouth. *kisses* Sing me something soft?
Hehe...anyway, I had a great day. Andrew tells me that we are eating at the Hong Kong Buffet restaurant next week. Yay to foreign restaurants!
- Kelsey
Posted at 02:30 am by silenced
Thursday, January 01, 2004
Love is...
Don't tell me you love me, because chances are...I won't believe you. Love is nothing but lies. In the words of Conor Oberst, "Love is just an excuse to hurt and be hurt." If your one of my ex-boyfriends and you're reading this...well...don't take full responsibility for me hurting...because it wasn't just one of you, but all of you together that made me like this. I hate your stupid jokes and cunning ways to make me feel special...and most of all I hate the bitter taste you left in my mouth from your kisses that never meant a fucking thing to you. So fuck you and fuck your love. Fuck your heart and fuck your songs. Fuck your talents and fuck your smile. Fuck your future and fuck living without me in your life....because I loved you and you lied to me.
Ladies and gentlemen...I feel sooo much better....and now, I have a boy named Benji to call. <3
- Kelsey
Posted at 12:48 am by silenced
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
New Years!
So..its' 12:37 right now and I have been up all night. Taking Back Sunday was my company all night long. I cleaned and watched I love the 70's for a while while I folded clothes. My mom asked me if I planned on drinking tonight. Haha. Oh lordy. I told her no, of course. So...she thinks I am going with Brittany and Justin to some church lock-in, which in all actuality...I am going with Andy Smith to a little get together at Caney Lake. Should be fun. Let's just hope I don't get caught.
You know...if my mom ever stumble upon the link to my journal...it might be bad. Haha. Never thought about that until now...but anyway...
I will probably make a trip to Ruston around 2:30 to pick up an outfit to wear tonight from Goodys and then go get a pedicure just for the relaxation of the process. Then I will probably come back home and take a nap before I leave.
I can't stop coughing again and my throat hurts so extra super duper bad. Cherry cough drops are the greatest thing ever right about now, but I only have 2 left. Ugh.
Oh oh...and get this! Today..my sister got a card from my great grandmother on my mom's side of the family with 20 dollars in it. My brother and I didn't get one. Haha. Hmmm. That made me sad for some reason. Ah...but anyway...
fashioncore like whoa
You love me.
Posted at 11:00 am by silenced
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